Nigerian media personality Toke Makinwa has spoken candidly about her decision to remain single after her divorce. During an episode of her podcast, Toke Moments, she shared her thoughts on societal pressures, personal growth, and why she believes another marriage would not have lasted.
Toke was previously married to businessman Maje Ayida in 2014, but their marriage ended in 2017 following allegations of infidelity. Since then, she has focused on building her career and living life on her own terms. Despite public expectations, she has not remarried and seems content with her choice.
Addressing the perception that women must be married or have children to feel complete, Toke noted that she has found fulfillment in her own journey. She acknowledged that, at one point, admitting she was 40, single, and childless was difficult for her. However, she has since come to accept her reality without regret.
“Regret is so exhausting; get comfortable with your truth. The hardest thing I could say to myself is, ‘Geez, I am 40, single, and childless.’ I said it, and I did not die! That used to make me almost tear up. But if I am completely honest, if I had gotten married again, I would’ve been divorced again because the lessons just never stop,” she stated.
Rather than focusing on what she does not have, Toke chooses to celebrate her achievements. She noted that while some may define success by marriage and motherhood, she sees her career and personal growth as major accomplishments.
“I can look at it and be like, ‘Oh my God, I don’t have a child and husband.’ But I can also look at it and say, ‘I am 40, I am a boss, I have built an empire, I am one of the most resounding voices in Africa, and I am not waking up miserable,’” she added.
Toke also encouraged people to accept their truth and not be ashamed of their circumstances. “Sometimes you need to sit with your truth; you cannot shame the shameless,” she said.
